What Does It Mean To Be A Mother?
Here are eight stories from mothers in our own parish.

"I remind myself constantly about how blessed I am compared to many of my contemporaries. I have been happily married for over half-a-century (unbelievable!) and have three wonderful, caring daughters. We have had no major traumas in our family - just the normal ups and downs of family life.

My husband is not a Catholic but has always been supportive of my religious beliefs and certainly raised no objections to his children being brought up as Catholics. They attended Mass each Sunday with me, went to a Catholic primary school and on to a Catholic Grammar School. I taught them their prayers and tried, by example, to show them the joy of worshipping our God. I failed!

My girls did not rebel but simply drifted away from the Church. They are good, generous and loving girls and, of course, their father and I adore them. If asked directly or on a form what religion they follow, they would say 'Catholic' without a second thought. When challenged by me on this matter they reply that they may not be 'good' Catholics but they ARE Catholic. Will someone please explain this to me?

I have two grandchildren who are not baptised and this breaks my heart. They attend a C of E School (why?) and so do receive some religious instruction. I do my best to talk with them but I do not wish to alienate my son-in-law so have to tread carefully.
What can I do about this situation? Well of course, I pray for them. As I have grown older I realise that this is all I can do. I cannot manage the situation myself so have passed the problem to God via Our Lady - my troubles must seem very minor compared to her family sorrows - but I'm convinced she's on the case."
 
 

    

Here are a few words about being a parent of a handicapped person.
 We are much luckier that many parents who have children with conditions that cause them to have behavioural problems. We can take Nick anywhere and know he will behave.

When our son was born it was discovered that he had Down's syndrome. We were devastated and mourned the 'normal' child we had hoped for, while at the same time falling in love with the child we had, he was so helpless.

Luckily we have a very supportive family and many good friends, who all rallied round with offers of help and information.
 As he developed and grew stronger we relaxed a bit, though right from the start we have worried about his long term future happiness. We realise we will not live for ever, and don't want his sisters to feel they have to look after him, but he doesn't want to leave home. (A typical boy!!)

He has always been accepted in Church and has made his First Communion (Though we are not sure he took the small piece of Host, and has refused to receive it ever since) and been Confirmed
(He didn't just kneel in front of the Bishop but prostrated himself)

He has grown up into a very lovable young man who likes routine. He has many friends and if he is not seen in Church on Sunday I get phone calls asking if he is OK!!
 

 
 

"This wasn't part of the deal when I signed up to be a Mum - the loss of a child. What did I do to deserve this? God had let me down - deserted me. WHY? What had I done?

No one could say or do anything that would help. The kind words, the gentle touches - all hurt- nothing at all could take away that devastating pain.

I put on the public face -1 kept going- so did the care of friends and acquaintances. In the end their efforts did filter through and their continued support did help to ease the pain. Life will never be the same again but it is not all negative. My values have been changed in a positive way; things that may have seemed important before no longer do. Family and friends take on a greater meaning and become very precious.

No one can bring back my beloved daughter but the fact that people do care is touching and much valued - it does help. And as for God I am trying hard to get my faith back to where it was - He will understand."
   
 


"I started on the journey of motherhood fifteen and a half years ago and since then I have been blessed with three perfectly healthy, beautiful daughters and I am honoured to be their mother.
Being a mother I can honestly say is the best job I've ever had and, of course, the hardest. But the hard days are always followed by smiles, hugs and lots of kisses. There is no instruction book that tells you how to be the perfect mother.

However, by seeing life through the eyes of my children- the beauty, the innocence, the creativity of their tiny minds -I am learning new things about myself all the time. I have loved watching my girls grow from babies to toddlers and one of them into a young woman and as I've witnessed this I too have grown as a person, developing an infinite amount of patience.

I love my girls more than anything and I would not trade them for the world. I thank God for this gift he has given me and I will continue to thank Him every day for the rest of my life."

"When you have been waiting for years for a child that never arrives you have to either accept that it's not meant to be or look for another way to be a mum. For me it was a huge, scary but exciting decision that lead to the phone call to the adoption agency. Eventually we were accepted onto the assessment programme and then followed two years of interviews, home visits, project writing and voluntary placements in playgroups and nurseries.

Finally the day came when we went before a panel of social workers, doctors, lawyers and a local magistrate to find out if we had been accepted as potential adopters. The relief when they said yes was huge.
We went home excitedly waiting to hear about our new child, never expecting that it would take so long.
After nearly eighteen months of waiting we had almost given up hope when we received a phone call asking us to consider a little girl. It didn't take much thinking about!
After endless meetings with social workers and foster carers it was decided that we were right for each other and before we knew it were off up the motorway.
The day we met her was the most frightening of my life - what if she didn't like us? I need not have worried as she seemed to take everything in her stride and settled in as if she had always been with us.
It was a different story for me though - to suddenly wake up one morning as the mother of a toddler-size bundle of pure energy was a complete shock! How was I ever supposed to know that she liked her porridge without lumps or that she liked to be pushed so high on the swings that she looked as though she might fall out?

 

For a few weeks it was a challenge even to be dressed and ready to leave the house before midday. I couldn't imagine how other mothers managed with two or three children all at once! Despite the worries and uncertainties felt about if I was doing things "right" I knew without question that this little girl was mine, and the first time she said "mummy" was a very tearful time. I'm sure that every mother thinks that her child is the most special in the world, but to me mine really is."
 

 

"Becoming a mother is a wonderful, amazing experience.
 Having three healthy children is a great gift from God. Each one is individual.
They have brought so much love and happiness into my life.
Growing up, going to school, making their first Holy Communions, Confirmations, getting to good schools made me a proud and grateful mother.
The years passed all too quickly.
Our only daughter emigrated to Australia some years ago and is very much missed. However, we talk three or four times a week and had a trip out to see her, our grandchildren and son-in-law.
I hope and pray we may do it again. Our sons are not too far away and we see them regularly. They are happily married and have lovely children.
It's hard seeing them leave, but we have many blessings to be thankful for."
 

"From the moment I gave birth I knew that my life had changed forever.
"Gosh, what do I do now?" As I watched this little bundle this incredible feeling of fear engulfed me: becoming a mother was daunting enough but being a single mum was becoming all too real.
Suddenly I was realizing that sometimes there would not be a thing I could do to protect him. You see, my son decided to arrive six weeks early (a clear indication that he would be trouble!) as he couldn't wait to see me (and also to put an end to the dreadful singing and chatting I imposed on him whilst pregnant). But he was soon to realize that it did not make a blind bit of difference.
Being a single mum has its moments for sure...trying to juggle all that life throws at you and trying to be both mother and father (good job I like sport)... ..but over years I have learnt and I am still learning that having a child in your life who loves you unconditionally challenges you to be a better person, not just a better mother.
It introduces you to the joys of laughter. My son's innocent conversation and curiosity about life is a miracle in the making everyday. And everyday I thank God for "my miracle". I may be a single mum but I am not alone as I have my family, friends and most importantly I have my Lord carrying me in my most desperate times (how true was that poem!).
I know how lucky I am, how blessed I am and how important time is for sharing those all too priceless moments...having those special hugs and smiles that bring the sunshine in, even on my darkest days. I thank God for "my precious gift" and hope that I am an OK mum who gives the bestest hugs ever!"

  
 

"What does being a mother mean to me?
Well, where do I start really? It means so many things. It brings so many emotions. It sets forth so many challenges. It is a never-ending journey up the steepest mountain.
There are days full of chaos, tears, squabbling and guilt. It can be tough trying to keep these very spirited souls on the right path. But I must not look down the mountain. I must strive to be a better mother.
I must keep listening, watching, learning. I must keep nourishing my children to go out into the world and set them free.
I feel so proud when I see my childrens' twinkling eyes, loving smiles, hear their endless laughter and feel the warmth from their cuddles.
 I know I have the best mountain in the world to climb."

 



THANK YOU, DEAR LORD,
FOR THE GIFT OF MOTHERHOOD.
 HELP US TO KNOW
THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS WITH US,
SHARING IN THE JOYS AND IN THE SORROWS,
JOINING US IN THE LAUGHTER,
AND WEEPING WITH US IN THE PAIN.

PLEASE GIVE US THE GRACES WE NEED TO FULFIL
YOUR PLANS FOR OUR LIVES
AND FOR OUR DUTIES IN OUR FAMILIES.

LORD, LET US ALWAYS REMEMBER
HOW MUCH YOU LOVE US
AND OUR CHILDREN
 

Thank you to all the mothers who wrote to us.
If you are a mum and would like to add your feelings about motherhood to this feature please e-mail us
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